Mums, does it seem like your kids behave differently when you are around them?
Remember that full-fledged meltdown with theatrical waterworks in the middle of the toy store that was reserved for you only? What about that night when you gave her fresh milk in a cup but she start screaming because she really wanted a bottle of formula milk at bedtime?
Mums, do you notice that your baby “misbehaves” more than usual when you are around them?
Even the best behaved children seem to become utter monsters when left alone with you in the room, yet they don’t “create problems” for other caregivers? Why is this so unfair? Do your babies hate you?Or maybe, they just love throwing tantrums when mummy is in sight?Before sailing on the guilt ship, here’s the silver lining to the dark clouds – this is good news. Yup, plot twist ahead.
According to Karen Dudley, a child development specialist with UCLA, children feel most comfortable expressing strong feelings when they are around their primary caregiver. That’s great news because it means that you are their safe space and they know that they can show their raw feelings without needing to mask them. Awww… nothing like showing their genuine selves in the presence of their safe harbour, which happens to be you, mums!
In addition, a toddler’s memory is improving, so he can remember what he wants more often. This change in behaviour is also partly due to your child’s rapidly developing brain.
The next reason is that young children are learning about social relationships and establishing connections with other people. One of the methods of creating boundaries is to find and test limits. Therefore, if you’re the one who spends the most time with your child, you’re likely the one who faces the brunt of those frequent and intense meltdowns.
Young children crave attention, and to do so, they will try all means and ways of getting undivided attention from their loved ones, even if it is negative i.e. being scolded or punished for misbehaviour. To alleviate this problem, talk to them and give them some undivided attention, especially if you have more than one child. Try out some of these activities with your child and also ensure your child has adequate naps and sleep, and have a healthy lifestyle which include a good diet of nutrients.
Besides outdoor play, young children need a balanced diet for enough vitamins and minerals to support their growth and daily energy needs. The best formula milk for kids are brands that work well for your children to provide nourishment, complementing their diets.
While understanding that their misbehaviour is a part of establishing boundaries, how we react is important. Responding to tantrums appropriately helps them to feel validated and that you understand the difficulties they face in expressing themselves properly.
Mums, now that you know what your kids behave terribly when you are around, how will you be managing this? Do share this with your mummy friends too!